I left the one who made me laugh for the one who made me cry. I suppose it's silly to look back with regret and fill my head with what if's, but I can't help but wonder- what if? What if I hadn't fallen for his empty words and what are now broken promises. What if I hadn't been in such a rush toward my future rather than enjoy the present. What if I had my shit together and as Muhammad says, wasn't looking for my second half before finding my first.

Back to the one who was left behind. We've been talking more as of late. It's not going toward marriage or anything serious like that. I've learned my lesson believe you me. But he makes me feel beautiful. Like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, inside and out. He tells me things no man has ever told me. He loves me unconditionally, one of a handful of people I can say who do. I broke his heart and left him for what turned out to be a deceitful sexaholic and throughout it all he's still loved me and most importantly still been my friend. It was and is gut-wrenching to hurt him in the way I did and each time we talk I'm filled with regret that I did not hold on tighter. I envy the woman who he ends up giving himself to.

To Ali: A far better man than those of my past and a friend who I hope to keep in this life and the next.